I don’t know when it began – possibly when I turned 50, which I might add has not been that so long ago…February 17, 2021, in case anyone has forgotten that memorable day, that I decided to embrace my WOMANHOOD. Is it womanhood, or becoming a woman? A new woman, or the woman I always knew I would become but just had no idea when or how that may take shape. Or maybe it was the day I decided to take charge of myself and create, maybe invent, the woman I always knew was inside of me…hmmm.

Those thoughts are not so far from the forefront of my mind, yet I dream and contemplate each day the woman I will be today, tomorrow and next week – in the near future. I decided that I want to be fearless, passionate, selfish (not in a bad way), all of the things, and yet know my worth and add tax. I will continue to be kind, yet I will speak my truth, to always be bold, to tell myself I am beautiful EACH.AND.EVERY.DAY and I will love myself, flaws and all, because – ooh, child, there are many…you know the ones that you look at but don’t want to accept, the cellulite, the gray hairs (ask any mother those come from kids), my stomach that’s no longer flat, but it’s part of my story of giving birth. I look at my hands, they are no longer smooth, but those lines tell stories.

My hair tells the story of going back to my roots – like literally going back to my roots – deciding to embrace my curly crown of glorious hair, even when I didn’t feel that I would look good, or appropriate, or that people would frown on this small ‘fro, but guess what? I cared none – “Let them talk,” I said and believe me I meant it – I could give less of a damn about what people thought of me or my hair.

My skin is no longer smooth by any means, but I certainly don’t look my age. Maybe it’s genetic – I mean my mother didn’t look her age either, and neither did my grandmother (and that includes my dad’s mom). I don’t have frown lines or wrinkles; my skin has dark spots from acne, a from not wearing sunscreen (WEAR YOUR SUNSCREEN, DAMN IT), and sometimes using the wrong skincare products. Nevertheless, my melanin is still poppin’. I love my skin, dark spots and all; it’s been good to me, and I have tried hard taking care of it.

I want to tell the new me, the new woman, how proud I am of her, that she has persevered through hard times – some of those times I want to forget, never to remember again…too painful to return. No matter the circumstances, you are phenomenal and no one can tell you different. Remember that despite everything you’ve gone through, you are WORTHY & LOVED.

“That’s the beautiful thing about self-love

you wear it like a dress and it becomes more and more

exquisite with time” – April Green